Just Me!

In the picture with me is Kaylee, my cousin's little girl. She is a little sweetheart! We are at the OSU graduation watching my cousin, Troy, get his diploma. It was a fun day!!

This past week was pretty busy for us. We celebrated Pete's Dad's 81st birthday on Thursday with fajitas and cake. It was a great party! In addition, my company Christmas party was on Friday night. We went to a nice restaurant in town, had a great meal and just enjoyed each other's company. Here is a picture of Pete & I at his sister's house before the birthday festivities began (pre haircut):

I am 34 weeks and 4 days pregnant in the picture above. I honestly can't believe that our new little guy will be here in just over a month. I was just telling Pete last night that a pregnancy seems like it would be such a long time, but mine has actually flown by! People keep asking us if we are "ready" for the baby. As Pete says, we will never be fully ready for the adventure upon which we are about to embark. I am sure he is absolutely right. We have no idea what to expect, so how could we possibly be ready?? I know it will be fine and we'll have a great time going through this life change, but I also know that there will be some difficult times. I guess that's what you sign up for when you agree to bring a human being into the world. As my "labor day" rapidly approaches, I find myself being more scared of the acutal child raising than the one day that everyone seems to get all worked up about. Don't get me wrong...am I scared to go through labor - CERTAINLY!!! But, I think that what comes afterwards is way more frightening than that one day! I've read new mother's blog posts and see that they all feel the exact same way I do, so I guess this is all normal. That is comforting, but it still doesn't take away the worry and fear.

It will most likely be after Christmas before I post again. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and an extremely Happy New Year!!

# posted by Tara : 6:15 AM  0 comments

This past weekend, we had to put our basset hound, Libby, to sleep. We were told a few weeks ago that she had cancer, but I honestly thought we'd have a little more time with her than we ended up having. Following are the sad details...

It was an extremely tough weekend. We had decided to go to OKC on Saturday to get a few more things we still needed before the baby arrives and when we got home that evening, Pete came and said that Libby wasn't doing very well. I went back to the sunroom to see what was going on and saw that she was having a really hard time breathing. She also would not get up, at all. For the past few weeks, she had been moving around more slowly than normal, but she was still able to get up and around. Pete did get her into the kitchen and we tried feeding her, but she wasn't interested in eating. I could tell that she wasn't feeling very well and that was really, really hard on me. It's always hard to see someone you love suffering. Pete stayed on the kitchen floor with her all night. He said it was rough at times, but she made it through. I honestly thought I would wake up that morning and he would tell me she was gone. Sunday was more of the same, trying to get her to drink water and offering her food. She didn't want either. Pete had a couple of phone conversations with the vet who kept telling us that there wasn't anything we could do except make her comfortable. This brought a rush of emotions to me because I've heard that all too many times after losing several family members to cancer. I positively HATE that disease!!

Later on Sunday evening, we discussed the idea of maybe putting her to sleep. She was really going downhill and started barking and yelping, so we knew she may be in more pain than she had been and neither of us wanted that for her. I think Pete wanted me to just make the decision to do it, but that was honestly not a decision I could make. Libby had been his dog for much longer than I've even been in his life and I knew that he needed to make the decision on his own. I know it was EXTREMELY difficult for him to decide to do it, but I know in my heart it was the right decision as waiting would have been really difficult on both of us and on Libby.

We made the trip to the vet's office, which was an extremely difficult drive. She was sleeping the entire time - probably from the pain medicine we had given her throughout the day. I started to think that maybe we were making the wrong decision, but I know that is just one of the thoughts/emotions that you go through in a time like that. The vet took a little longer to arrive than we did and it was really difficult to just sit there in the parking lot waiting for what was about to happen. When the vet arrived, Pete carried Libby into the room on her doggie pillow. The vet told us it would happen very quickly once he injected her. Just before the vet began the injection, Pete said, "She is looking right at me and it looks like she is crying." I knew that it was Libby's way of saying goodbye to her very best friend and trying to tell him that everything would be ok. Pete told her he loved her and she was gone in just a few seconds.

I've had to endure many tragedies in my life with losing family members and friends and I can honestly say that this experience has been just as difficult. Libby was truly a family member who meant so much to us. I find it very hard to get through a day without shedding some tears just because this is hard for me to deal with and I know that it is extremely more difficult for Pete. My heart hurts so much for him and I wish that I could do something to take away his pain, but I can't. Only time will help, that I know.

# posted by Tara : 6:04 AM  0 comments